Re: Shamos Rebuttal, Draft 1

From: Teresa Hommel <tahommel_at_earthlink_dot_net>
Date: Sun May 01 2005 - 22:48:59 CDT

I agree with Kathy, it would be easier to edit if you incorporate it
into the body of an email. Will late Wednesday night May 4 still timely?
Teresa

Kathy Dopp wrote:

> Ron Crane wrote:
>
>> Here it is. Section 3.1 is still in progress, and there will be a few
>> other tweaks, but this is basically it.
>>
>> Please comment.
>>
>> -R
>
>
>
> I would like to use this paper to present in Utah to help stop the
> adoption of DRE electronic ballot voting machines here, so that is
> where I'm coming from with my comments:
>
> 1. Because people may not be familiar with Shamos' paper, Please start
> with a short Background Section that gives a synopsis of his paper,
> and where it can be found. i.e. Its URL, and also possibly tells
> something about who Shamos is.
>
> 2. scratch "entertaining" and "(sometimes rather amusing)" from the
> Abstract. It makes you sound unprofessional IMO.
>
> 3. Scratch "attempts to identify" - change to "identifies"
>
> 4. Change "also to consider" to "and considers"
>
> 5. delete " that have been compared to voting systems" This is
> already evident.
>
> 6. change "since" to "because" (still in paragraph 2)
>
> 7. change "to maintain" -> "to secretly maintain" and remove " '
> secrecy" later
>
> 8. 3rd paragraph, remove comma after "trust in" and also make this
> into two sentences, and move one of the sentences to your conclusion.
>
> i.e. clears up some of the mystery surrounding e-voting systems.
> (leave that one in the abstract) and move the similar sentence re.
> "dispels some of the unjustified trust..." because you don't want to
> give away your conclusions at the beginning IMO - leave the "trust"
> issue until last IMO.
>
> Or better yet, why not change the sentence to:
>
> "The purpose of this paper is to clear up some of the mystery
> surrounding why Shamos' position of trust in opaque and unverified
> e-voting systems is felt to be so unjustified by the vast majority of
> computer scientists and computer professionals"
>
> Just thinking out loud. I just don't like the last sentence of your
> abstract the way it is.
>
> Your pdf does not seem to allow copy and paste to suggest edits, so
> I'll quit now, as I should be working on other things anyway.
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> OVC discuss mailing lists
> Send requests to subscribe or unsubscribe to
> arthur@openvotingconsortium.org
>

_______________________________________________
OVC discuss mailing lists
Send requests to subscribe or unsubscribe to arthur@openvotingconsortium.org
==================================================================
= The content of this message, with the exception of any external
= quotations under fair use, are released to the Public Domain
==================================================================
Received on Tue May 31 23:17:10 2005

This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.8 : Tue May 31 2005 - 23:17:52 CDT