Re: Shamos Rebuttal, Draft 1

From: Kathy Dopp <kathy_at_uscountvotes_dot_org>
Date: Sun May 01 2005 - 20:11:05 CDT

Ron Crane wrote:

> Here it is. Section 3.1 is still in progress, and there will be a few
> other tweaks, but this is basically it.
>
> Please comment.
>
> -R

I would like to use this paper to present in Utah to help stop the
adoption of DRE electronic ballot voting machines here, so that is where
I'm coming from with my comments:

1. Because people may not be familiar with Shamos' paper, Please start
with a short Background Section that gives a synopsis of his paper, and
where it can be found. i.e. Its URL, and also possibly tells something
about who Shamos is.

2. scratch "entertaining" and "(sometimes rather amusing)" from the
Abstract. It makes you sound unprofessional IMO.

3. Scratch "attempts to identify" - change to "identifies"

4. Change "also to consider" to "and considers"

5. delete " that have been compared to voting systems" This is already
evident.

6. change "since" to "because" (still in paragraph 2)

7. change "to maintain" -> "to secretly maintain" and remove " '
secrecy" later

8. 3rd paragraph, remove comma after "trust in" and also make this into
two sentences, and move one of the sentences to your conclusion.

i.e. clears up some of the mystery surrounding e-voting systems.
(leave that one in the abstract) and move the similar sentence re.
"dispels some of the unjustified trust..." because you don't want to
give away your conclusions at the beginning IMO - leave the "trust"
issue until last IMO.

Or better yet, why not change the sentence to:

"The purpose of this paper is to clear up some of the mystery
surrounding why Shamos' position of trust in opaque and unverified
e-voting systems is felt to be so unjustified by the vast majority of
computer scientists and computer professionals"

Just thinking out loud. I just don't like the last sentence of your
abstract the way it is.

Your pdf does not seem to allow copy and paste to suggest edits, so I'll
quit now, as I should be working on other things anyway.

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Received on Tue May 31 23:17:09 2005

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