Re: Draft 3 -- EAC Letter

From: Alan Dechert <alan_at_openvotingconsortium_dot_org>
Date: Wed May 12 2004 - 11:48:22 CDT

Anyone else? Going once.... going twice....

Alan D.

>
> On May 11, 2004, at 12:54 PM, Alan Dechert wrote:
>
> > I'm not saying this is done - done. I think this is close, however
> >
> > http://www.openvotingconsortium.org/ad/eac1.pdf
> >
> >
> Page 2, second to last paragraph:
>
> ... the Research and Development ...
>
> The phrase doesn't need to be capitalized.
>
> Also, there is a rough transition from a general statement about
> open source, in paragraphs 1, 2 and 3, to specifics about the
> OVC in the paragraphs that follow. Most of paragraph 4 is also
> general, but the first sentence "Our approach ..." hints that
> we are talking about ourselves. Change this to:
>
> Open source voting systems could also allow election systems
> from different vendors to provide compatible output. ...
>
> Also, don't capitalize Open Voting except when we are referring
> to ourselves.
>
> The real transition to blowing our own horn begins in the last
> paragraph of page 1. Make this explicit by starting it with:
>
> Last month, the Open Voting Consortium gave ...
>
> As it stands, the letter is good enough that I don't object to
> seeing my name on it, but I think these patches would help.
>
> Doug Jones
> jones@cs.uiowa.edu
>
>
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Received on Mon May 31 23:17:37 2004

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